Day 1 - When motivation is at it's greatest

Before I get into my "why" for joining the Body for Life challenge, I would like to give a breakdown of my 1st day on the challenge:

Upper Body in 48 minutes, Cardio in 20 minutes. Calories were approximately 1200. No alcohol, no junk food, no added sugar. Tomorrow I would like to get my high-intensity cardio in before taking my daughter to school and before I go to work... that means up at 530am!

My "Why"

Back in 2005 I had finally lost all the weight I had gained (and then some) from having my daughter. I looked great, I felt great. Life was good. Then in the Spring of 2007 I miscarried my twins; shortly thereafter, my boyfriend and father of the twins left me. I was devastated and became a complete wreck - binge drinking, eating unhealthy - I gained some weight back from that, but the real weight gain came when I decided to go on an anti-depressant. In a matter of a few months I gained 40lbs. I discontinued the medication about a year later and sought alternative therapy. I eventually learned how to cope with my grief, but the weight lingered.

I'm on the left - Size 6 in 2006

Always happy and having fun...

2006 in San Diego - I loved my beach body!



2007 before I got pregnant with the twins - I really enjoyed going for runs in the evenings

Winter 2006.. feeling glamorous and fabulous!





Now, 5 years later I still retain the weight. There hasn't been one day in the past 5 years that I haven't looked in the mirror and judged myself. Every single day for 5 years I have been saddened by my thighs, my behind, my waist. My ONLY saving grace is that I am proportionate, head to toe, which gets me through some days without beating myself up entirely.

 I know that I am better than this. I know that I am a beautiful person inside and out, and I shouldn't have to suffer this way. Sitting by the pool in boxers and a tee while others swim; wearing baggy clothing to work; avoiding the dating scene because I don't feel pretty when I get dressed up.

My turning point is now, as I sit in my bedroom in the dark with the flu, staring at my closet full of clothes I can't fit in, fearing this Saturday's date with a guy I think is too hot for me. I have the BFL book; I have an amazing, supportive family who will help me through this challenge; it's time to do this.

Current stats:
Height = 5'11"
Weight = 192lbs
Blood Pressure = 128/80
Clothing Size = 10 skirt/12 pants
Body Fat = 27%
Waist = 33"
Hips = 42"
Chest = 43"